My Neurodiversity

 I was diagnosed with dyslexia in Year Eight (second year of secondary school), however my diagnosis had been suspected long before it was confirmed. It was paid for privately as there was not the same level of provision that there is in schools as there is now and I attended a weekly session at the Dyslexia Institute in Sheffield City Centre.

I used to catch the tram after school, head in and then one of my parents would collect me later that evening. In the first couple of years (Year Eight and Nine), I shared my lesson time with a younger boy. The next two years (Year Ten and Eleven), I was in a GCSE focus group with two other girls. I used to get frustrated by having to go in for support after school, but much preferred this to being singled out in lessons.

In fact, I never actually told my teachers that I was dyslexic, several teachers only finding out at parents’ evening, where the conversation would go something like: ‘She’s a really good student but her spelling is atrocious.’

And then my mum would say: ‘You do know that she is dyslexic.’

And the follow up to be: ‘Oh, it’s not that bad then.’

And that was pretty much it for school support, because as I was top sets, there was no provision to put extra support into my lessons and as I didn’t want it. I didn’t want to be the girl that was sat with someone sitting next to me in class.

After achieving my GCSEs, I went to college and I promised my mum that I would utilise the dyslexia support that the college offered for my A-levels, so I stopped going to the Dyslexia Institute for extra lessons. At college, I had a good time, spent my evening with my friends and didn’t access the full support that I could have. Looking back, the success of my GCSEs had been that focus group I had been part of to prepare me for my exams. With a very poor working memory and straight exams at A-levels, my marks suffered and I did not get the grades I needed for my university place. After two hours of crying as I tried to get through to the University on A-level results day, I finally heard the news that they would take me on the basis of my interview. In the end, I had done just enough to get to the next stage.

I went to Bangor University in north Wales for a number of reasons. First, the course – I studied Modern and Contemporary History with a fair bit of politics included, something that can be picked up upon with my writing. Second, the excellent dyslexia support, the university was well known for. And third, (although jokingly) my mum told me to leave the country and I thought that I would take her at her word (as did one of my brothers, who went to university in Scotland).

It varied how much I accessed the support over my three years there depending on how important I thought a piece of work was and how much of a good time I wanted to have. I had my dissertation checked several times and it went through too many drafts to count, but essays I wasn’t as good with those, especially when I left them to the last minute. Time management has never been my best skill and when you included that with wanting to have fun and living away from home for the first time, it was not a good combination. I also deleted the speech to text software on my computer so I could install games and download TV shows to watch. At the end of the three years, once again, I did just enough to get to the next stage.

I went to do at PGCE at Newcastle University and this was tougher. I struggled with some of the literacy based activities that I had to do – taking a literacy test over twenty times before I passed it. The familiar story continued of doing just enough to pass, with my coping strategies becoming a real strength. I was also retested for my dyslexia and my diagnosis changed from mild dyslexia with average intelligence to severe dyslexia with above average intelligence.

The world of work has brought different challenges and in the early days I was very reluctant to put my dyslexia on my job applications. It has taken me years to own my dyslexia, embrace it and realise that it has made me how I am and it has never stopped me doing anything that I want to. As well as writing books, I have worked abroad, travelled a lot (primarily in my 20s), taught, held higher level management positions and much, much more.

Yes, I trip over my words and mispronounce things including my own writing. I can be clumsy, messy, disorganised, have a really bad memory and as those teachers put to my mum all those years ago, I have truly atrocious spelling. But my neurodiversity has brought many other skills. It has made me creative and a writer, as if my mind can’t think of how to write or say a certain word, I will use six others in it’s place. My mind goes at a million miles an hour and can jump from thought to thought, very quickly which can make developing plots very interesting. It has made me determined, I never give in at anything easily (that also might be linked to having three brothers too). It has also taught me how to present, lead talks etc as I spend so much time thinking on my feet, and I’m sure if I spent time thinking it about it, many more skills.

Since Firebound was published, I have also received two other diagnoses. I have dyspraxia, something that came as a surprise to nobody. I struggle to catch and control a ball, and while I did play football and basketball as a child, I was never a technical player at either. I struggle with spatial awareness and love the fact that cars now have parking sensors to help you with this. And I’m just plain clumsy, if there is something that you can trip over, you can bet I will be tripping over it. The diagnosis that came as a bit of a surprise was that I met the screening requirements for ADHD too. I guess that’s why my mind has always gone at a million miles an hour, creating stories etc.

I’m happy to own these diagnoses. I am proud to be a neuro-spikey writer. My diagnoses have given me just as many strengths as dyslexia has, so I’m guessing the point to this piece is the same as the dedication in my books. Own your neurodiversity, don’t let it hold you back and limit you in any way. It will give you skills that other people don’t have.

As a side note link to this, I have been asked several times whether any of the characters are neurodiverse. Too be honest, I never thought of it in the first drafts of writing them. This is not because I would not want a neurodiverse character. I didn’t feel like it needed to be spelled out if a character was or wasn’t neurodiverse.

However, since thinking about this question, more and more, I am starting to think, just like ADHD has snuck up on me, I may have written a main character in Abigail that could have ADHD, there are definitely signs that she could be. But I will leave that up to the readers to decide if that is just part of her character and personality or whether those are actual signs of neurodiversity.

I am equally happy to talk at schools etc about my neurodiversity as I am the writing itself and if that is something you are interested in – please email me at kathryn.wild.writer@gmail.com

Albus and Minerva